


Darkest Before Dawn

by chibichibi_k



Category: Psych
Genre: Angst, Dark, Established Relationship, Fluff, Get Together, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Reunions, Serial Killers, Torture, hostage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-08 17:10:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibichibi_k/pseuds/chibichibi_k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Shawn is abducted, Carlton does everything in his power to bring him home</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are mine and I do not own Psych.
> 
> Spoilers up until season three.

Shawn shifted slightly and the minor, barely noticeable movement sent a shock of pain right through his body. He groaned in agony at the pain coursing through him, setting his nerve endings on fire. Every part of him hurt, from each strand of his unruly hair to each individual skin cell, and everything in between.

"What the hell... hit me?" Shawn groaned; his voice rough with pain.

A small trickle of... something kept dripping into his left eye and distorting his vision. It didn't take him long to realize that it was blood – his blood. Shawn went to wipe the blood away only to have a tremendous amount of pain tear its way through his right shoulder, which refused to move. In fact, Shawn couldn't move either of his arms or his feet.

"Okay... Not going to be moving that arm anytime soon..."

Shawn blinked the blood out of his eyes – or at least he tried to – and tried to figure out where the hell he was. Or more importantly, what the hell had happened.

The room he was sitting in was nothing to write home about. He searched for something, anything that would help him figure out where he was. There were no windows, no unique architecture, no special sounds that would indicate the particular area where the room could be located. Absolutely nothing. It was just a run-of-the-mill warehouse.

 _Perfect,_  Shawn thought sarcastically.  _My first kidnapping and the guy doesn't even take me anywhere special._

The sound of the door opening from somewhere behind him, startled Shawn. He kept completely still and silently hoped that whoever had just opened the door would think he was still unconscious and leave. It was hard not to move since he was full of nervous tension and wanted to do something that would allow him to escape. Shawn kept his rigid posture until the door creaked shut and no immediate footsteps followed once the door had closed.

Once he was sure he was alone, Shawn let out a breath and continued to look for some way to get himself free from the chair he was bound to. But besides himself and the chair that he was secured to, there was nothing in the room. And the only door that he was aware of was somewhere directly behind him.

He tried to carefully move his uninjured arm, just to see how tight his bonds were. But he only succeeded in dislodging his injured arm from it's moderately pain free position.

Shawn cried out in agony once more. "Fuck! That hurts." He took a few deep breaths and waited for the agonizing pain to fade. "Def-definitely dislocated," he gasped. "Okay, now that I've figured out that moving even slightly will hurt like hell... How the hell did I get here?"

The last thing that Shawn could remember was waiting for Gus to get back to the Psych office with his pineapple smoothie...

_"Come on, Gus," Shawn whined into his cell phone. "How long does it take to get me my smoothie?"_

_"Long. Considering you sent me during the busiest time of the day!"_

_Shawn could hear Gus' irritation and it brought a smirk to his lips. "Aw, come on, Gussy! You know I can't divine anything without a pineapple smoothie."_

_"Well, I hope you'll be able to divine my foot up your ass."_

_"So harsh, buddy. Where's the love?" He could hear Gus' angry grumbling and incoherent threats. Shawn was just about to say something in response to Gus' grumbling but his phone dinged, alerting him that he had a new text. "Gotta go, Gus. See you in a few." He hung up before Gus could reply._

_Shawn practically started to glow when he read the text._

_**We're still on for tonight? – C.** _

_Even though they'd been together for almost a year now, Carlton still seemed a bit doubtful that Shawn was committed to their relationship and wasn't about to take off at a moment's notice. It was quite endearing actually, since it was Shawn who kept thinking that Carlton would come to his senses at any moment and dump him._

_**Of course! I said so this morning didn't I? See you at six. – S.** _ _Shawn texted back._

_Tonight was their date night. Or at least that's what Shawn liked to dub it as. At least once a week, one of them made sure that they spent the night together, just the two of them; no cases and no psychic-ness. It still kind of amazed Shawn that they had managed to last so long without getting fed up with each other or with anyone finding out. Granted, Gus knew but not because Shawn had told him. Gus was Shawn's best friend after all so if hadn't taken much for him to put two and two together and get four._

_Shawn was still smiling dopily when the door opened behind him. Without turning around he started talking happily. "It's about time, Gus. I just divined that I am going to have a fantastic evening. Now, hand over my smoothie."_

_There was no movement or sound. Usually by now, Gus would have slammed the smoothie down on his desk and would be grumbling about being Shawn's lackey, while slurping on his usual Tootie-Fruity smoothie. But there was nothing, not even a single breath. It was eerie and shivers were starting to creep down Shawn's spine._

_"Gus?" Shawn asked worriedly as he spun his chair around._

_Just as he came to a stop, now facing the door, something incredibly hard connected with the left side of his skull and he crumpled out of the chair and onto the floor. Soon darkness was creeping along the edges of his vision and pulling him under._

_Just before he was pulled completely under, Shawn heard a sinisterly malice voice say, "Goodnight, Shawny boy."_

_Then everything had gone black..._

That sinister and malice filled voice seemed to follow Shawn back to the present. He hadn't gotten a good look at the guy but he knew that his fantastic evening had taken a drastic turn for the worst.

A soft sound reached Shawn's ears, footsteps and they were heavy, determined, and headed his way. He tensed, completely terrified about what was going to happen to him. He'd been knocked unconscious, abducted, had his shoulder wrenched from his socket and was tied to a chair in a dingy warehouse. What could be next?

The same malice filled voice drifted to Shawn's ears as a gangly haired, sunken eyed man came to stand in front of him. "Hello, Shawny. It's time to get acquainted."


	2. Chapter 2

Carlton sighed heavily as he paced from the kitchen, to the living room and back again. His eyes kept darting worriedly – almost panicked – between the wall clock and the front door. Shawn was two hours late and Carlton was beyond worried now. Sure, Shawn had been late before but never this late and he'd usually send him a text to let him know.

But Shawn hadn't sent him a text, called or e-mailed him. The last time Carlton had heard from the pseudo psychic had been when he had replied to Carlton's text. And that had been around two o'clock.

To Carlton, it was unsettling not to have heard from Shawn. He hadn't realised how dependent he had become on having to hear from the younger man. This was the first time in over three years that Carlton had heard so little from Shawn. Even before they had started seeing each other romantically – Carlton refused to call it dating – Shawn would find some way to converse with him, be it at the station, a crime scene, or a random call about "psychic vibes." But there had never been such a long period of time where there was such silence between them.

At this point in time, Carlton didn't care if Shawn called to cancel their night in or to dump him, as long as he called.

Carlton almost jumped out of his skin when his cell phone rang loudly, as if summoned by his thoughts. He flipped the phone open quickly, not even bothering to check the caller I.D. because it couldn't be anyone else, and answered the phone.

"Shawn! Where the hell are you?" Carlton yelled into the receiver, bypassing any and all greetings completely.

There was a small moment of silence before the caller answered. "I guess that means he isn't with you."

"Guster?" Carlton asked, completely confused. "What's going on? What do you mean?"

"Shawn's gone."

"G-gone? What do you mean?" Carlton growled; his panic and worry starting to increase rapidly.

"It's just that, he's gone. I have no clue where he is. He sent me out earlier this afternoon to get him a smoothie and when I came back, he was gone," Gus replied his voice laced with dread and worry.

"He didn't leave a note or call you about a job," Carlton asked as he slipped into detective mode, a safety mechanism to keep his sense of dread from consuming him. "Did you check his usual haunts?"

"No, he didn't call or leave any sort of note and his bike is still here. I've checked everywhere I can think of. Henry hasn't seen him, he hasn't been by the station and he isn't down at Tom Blair's either. You were my last place to check."

"Why would he be here?" Carlton asked defensively.

"I  _know_ , Lassiter," Gus said simply and Carlton knew exactly what he meant. 'I know about you and Shawn.' "Besides, anyone would have known by the way you answered the phone. You're lucky it was me."

"Fine," Carlton said uneasily. He was going to have a word with Shawn when they found him about telling Gus about them.

"Oh and don't get mad at Shawn, I figured it out myself."

That bit of information shocked Carlton. He had thought that they had been discreet. If Gus knew, who else did? There was no point in worrying about it now; they had a psychic to find.

"Was there anything off about the Psych office when you got back from the smoothie stand?"

"No... But to be honest, I wasn't looking for signs of foul play or anything like that. When I got there and he wasn't there, I just thought something shiny had caught his attention and Shawn had just flittered off. You know how he can get."

Carlton smiled slightly and nodded in agreement before he remembered that Gus wouldn't see it. "Yeah, that probably would have been my first thought as well."

"Do... Do you think that someone took him or something happened it him?"

Carlton didn't reply immediately. Honestly, he didn't know what to think. There wasn't enough to go on and Shawn was known for disappearing but if he was planning on taking off... Why send Carlton a reply saying he looking forward to tonight? Something wasn't right... Shawn wouldn't do that to him, not after everything they'd been through.

Carlton's silence must have unnerved Gus because the pharmaceutical representative started to throw questions at Carlton in a panicked state. "You do, don't you? Oh, God! What if I disturbed some important piece of evidence? I could have just sentenced Shawn to death by talking to you! Oh God, what's going to happen now? Is he going to die? Oh my – "

"Guster!" Carlton yelled over Gus' frantic rambling. "Shawn's going to be fine! I'll find him! Alright?"

"O-okay," Gus mumbled. Carlton heard him take a deep breath before he continued. "What... What do we do now?"

"I want you to head back over to Psych and wait for me there. I'm going to call O'Hara and we'll come take a look around, look for anything that seems out of the ordinary."

"Okay. I'll head there now."

"Good. We'll be there soon, Guster," Carlton assured him before he hung up.

He didn't call O'Hara right away. Instead, he gripped his cell phone like a lifeline and slumped down on to his couch. Carlton was at a loss. He'd been on tons of missing persons and kidnapping cases but he'd never had a case – of any kind – where he knew the person involved. Even so... Carlton was more determined than ever to figure out what had happened and where Shawn was. He was going to do everything in his power to find Shawn and bring him back to him, safe and sound.

Carlton flipped open his cell and hit his speed dial. "O'Hara? It's Lassiter. I need you to meet me at Psych. We have a case."


	3. Chapter 3

Shawn stared warily at the gangly, sunken eyed man standing before him, half in the shadows. His beady eyes were focused intently on Shawn and raked over his bound captive. The whole warehouse was shrouded in a dangerous air and Shawn couldn't relax into his usual I'm-fine-even-though-you're-likely-to-kill-me attitude.

They stared at each other unblinkingly. Shawn tried to project an air of confidence but the way the gangly man kept staring at him, was completely unsettling.

"Who are you?" Shawn finally dared to ask.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Shawny," the kidnapper drawled lazily. "I'm surprised at you. As a psychic, shouldn't you have seen this coming?"

"Heh. I guess I had better things to divine than your ugly excuse for a face," Shawn snipped.

He didn't see the punch coming either. Shawn's head snapped to the right and he could have sworn he heard something in his jaw crack.

"Now, now, Shawny. You best be careful. I don't want to ruin you before the guest of honour gets here. He'd be oh-so disappointed if you were already dead before he even got here. He'll want to see the show," the gangly man whispered as he leaned in nice and close to Shawn.

Shawn leaned away from the man, feeling a wave of nausea wash over him at having this deranged psycho so close to him. "What do you and your precious 'guest of honour' want from me?"

"I want revenge and if that results in your death...Then so be it."

The finality in which the gangly, sunken eyed man said that sent a shot of pure fear right through Shawn. There wasn't much he could do and he couldn't get much information about the man that had kidnapped him from what he was seeing of the man in front of him – besides that he was fucking crazy. Shawn was screwed and he knew it.

"Oh don't worry, Shawny," his captor purred at seeing the hint of fear in Shawn's eyes. "I won't kill you yet. We can sit and chat until out guest arrives. Get to know each other better and if that doesn't sound good, well, we could always  _play_."

Shawn shivered as the beady eyes raked over his body once more. This man's definition of play wasn't one he wanted to become familiar with. "Fine... Let's get to know each other. What should I call you? Psycho sadist or – "

The rest of Shawn's sarcastic crack was cut off by a swift knee to the stomach. If he hadn't already been secured to the chair, Shawn would have fallen to the floor. God, it hurt! It didn't help matters that the kick had severely jarred his dislocated shoulder.

A hand wound its way into his hair and Shawn's head was yanked back. He stared the gangly man in the eye. "Don't push me, Shawny. I really don't want to hurt you but I will," he growled. "Now be a good boy or I will have to punch you again."

Shawn swallowed nervously. This man was serious. The bright spark in his eyes as he revelled in Shawn's pain was almost... aroused and it was filled with a manic excitement. Shawn gritted his teeth and waited for the flare of pain to fade.

"Good, very good," the gangly man sneered, seeing the quiet surrender in the psychic's eyes. "To make our future communication more... amicable, you can refer to me by my title."

"Y-your title?" Shawn asked as his breath hitched.

"Of course. You really are bad at this psychic thing. I'm the Butter Knife Butcher!"

Once he said his "title," Shawn knew exactly how screwed he really was. The Butter Knife Butcher had been Santa Barbara's most notorious serial killer and one of the most gruesome murderers ever. Shawn didn't know any of the case details since the killings and arrest had happened when he was still wondering around the country. But Shawn knew enough.

Dane Walker – a.k.a. the Butter Knife Butcher – had murdered four people of various ages and gender with a butter knife or at least that's what had been reported in the papers. He hadn't believed it was possible when he had first heard about it but it was eventually released to the general public that Walker had sharpened his butter knives so much so that he was able to plunge the knife into his victims' chests and straight into their hearts – while they were still alive. It was an extremely painful and agonizing way to die, and Shawn had no desire to be the first victim of the Butter Knife Butcher's return to murder.

"That... that can't be... You should still be in jail," Shawn stuttered.

"Very true, Shawny, but I'm not anymore." Walker leaned further into Shawn's personal space as he spoke. "Now I'm here with you," he whispered into Shawn's ear.

Shawn stiffened and tried to pull away but was unable to do so. "Why me?" He asked quietly. "What do I have to do with your revenge?"

Shawn couldn't figure out why Walker had grabbed him. He had never met Walker in anyway. Hell, Shawn hadn't even been in the state when the killings had started or when the Butter Knife Butcher had been incarcerated. He didn't know any of the victims or any of the cops that had been involved in the case. Shawn didn't even know who the arresting officer or detective had been.

"Why?" Walker sneered. "You're involved in this because you're the only person he'll risk his life for, that's why."

 _Risk his life for?_  Shawn wondered. "Your 'guest of honour?' Who is he?" He had a hunch – a very good hunch – of who it was but needed Walker to either confirm or deny his suspicions.

Walker turned his head, his greasy, chapped lips now brushing against Shawn's earlobe. "Your lover, of course." He backed away so that he now stared into Shawn's fearful hazel eyes. "I'm after the bastard who arrested me! Your loyal lover, Detective Carlton Lassiter."


	4. Chapter 4

Gus fidgeted nervously as he waited for Juliet and Lassiter. It felt like it was taking forever for the detectives to arrive. Time seemed to have slowed and just left him standing there frozen, waiting.

He relaxed a fraction when the Crown Vic pulled up. Juliet was out of the car and by Gus' side in an instant. She wrapped her arms around him in a caring embrace.

"How are you doing, Gus?" Juliet asked sweetly.

"I'm okay, Juliet," Gus assured her. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course! I'll do everything I can to help." She smiled. Juliet looked over her shoulder when she heard the driver side door shut. Leaning forward she whispered, "I'm surprised you called Lassiter before me though."

"Uh... Well, I didn't know if you were off tonight or not and I figured... Lassiter's always on the job, right?" Gus asked.

"You're right, that's Lassiter for you."

Carlton ignored Gus and Juliet as he took a look at the outside of Psych. If it hadn't been for Gus' call and both Gus and Juliet being less than five feet away, he could almost trick himself into believing that he was just picking Shawn up for a date.

But he wasn't here to pick Shawn up. He was here to figure out what had happened to him.

"O'Hara! If you're done," Carlton called out in his 'Get your ass back to work' tone. "Let's get to work."

Carlton walked to the office door and gestured for Gus to open it. Once open, he walked carefully into the office and pulled out a penlight and shined it over the contents of the rooms. O'Hara was to his right, checking out the foyer for any signs of forced entry.

He was just looking over Shawn's desk and all the knick knacks his lover kept on it, when the overhead lights came on. Carlton looked up and glared at Gus whose fingers still lingered on the light switch. "Guster, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Turning on the lights? I've never understood why cops don't just turn on the lights when investigating a crime scene," Gus stated.

"Just stay out of the way, Guster," Carlton growled as he flicked off his penlight. "And don't touch anything," he added as he saw Gus move to the little kitchenette and went to grab a glass.

The two detectives searched the room for anything that could explain Shawn's disappearance. But nothing was out of place, taken or missing, except for the psychic who usually dwelled in the office.

"There's nothing here, Carlton," Juliet stated dejectedly. "There's nothing more we can do without some sort of evidence," she said softly as she turned to Gus. "I'm sorry, Gus. We won't be able to do anything more until Shawn's been missing for two days."

"I understand, Juliet," Gus said solemnly.

Carlton sighed. Juliet was right; there was nothing else they could do. There were no signs of foul play and without anything to go on, they would have to wait and hope nothing happened to Shawn. Carlton walked to the door, Juliet and Gus ahead of him and he had just passed behind Shawn's desk when something caught his eye.

"Hold up, O'Hara," Carlton called. "I think I've found something."

He walked closer to what had caught his eye. Kneeling down to get a closer look, he pushed the swivel chair aside and he paled when he realised what it was. Blood... Dried but all the same, it was blood.

"Oh, no," Juliet gasped from beside Carlton.

"What? What is it?" Gus asked worriedly.

"Take him outside. I'm going to call the chief and get some CSIs out to look the place over," Carlton told Juliet.

"Right."

She stood up, patted Carlton on the shoulder and moved to usher Gus out of the office. He waited until they were out of earshot before pulling out his cell phone and called the Chief.

"Vick."

"Chief, it's Lassiter."

"What can I do for you, Detective? I thought you had requested the night off?"

Carlton winced as he remembered why he'd wanted the night off. It was supposed to be just him and Shawn tonight. But that wasn't going to happen now. Not until he had Shawn back.

"Yes, Chief, I did. But there's been an abduction and I need some CSIs down here to find and collect some evidence," Carlton stated professionally.

"Alright, Detective. Where's the scene?"

"The Psych Office."

"Detective?"

Carlton could hear the Chief's confusion and curiosity as well as if she was standing right beside him. "It's Spencer, Chief," Carlton replied. "Someone's taken him."

Silence fell over the phone for a moment. "How do you know?"

"According to Mister Guster, Spencer's been missing since roughly two o'clock this afternoon and no one had seen or heard from him since. His bike is still parked outside of Psych and there is dried blood by his desk," Carlton reported.

"I'll send over some black and whites along with the CSIs. Have you informed Henry?"

Carlton sighed. He was not looking forward to that. "No, not yet."

"Get on that Detective.

"Yes, Chief."

"Alright. Good luck, Detective. Make sure you find him."

"Don't worry Chief. I will."

Carlton hung up and left the office. He met Juliet and Gus outside and explained that he got the Chief to spend out some CSIs.

"So... You found something?" Gus asked hopefully.

"Yes, we did."

"What was it? A fingerprint? Hair? A footprint? What?"

"We found blood, Gus," Juliet said while placing a comforting hand on Gus' arm.

"Oh... God!"

"Calm down, Guster. It was only a small amount. We'll get a sample and see if it's even Shawn's. It could be his kidnapper's. It's nothing to – "

Carlton was cut off by a fist connecting with his jaw. "You uncaring bastard," Gus screamed.

"Gus," Juliet yelled as she restrained the distraught man.

Carlton seemed unfazed by the blow dealt to his face. He simply wiped away the small trickle of blood from his newly split lip. His calm demeanour just seemed to piss Gus off more.

"Let go of me! He doesn't even care that my best friend is missing and for all we know, Shawn could be dead," Gus raved. "Yet, here he is saying that 'it's nothing to worry about!' Shawn's out there somewhere and he needs our help, your help... his lover's help!"

Juliet could only stare in shock. The way in which Gus had spoken almost made it sound like Carlton was Shawn's lover. That couldn't be true, could it?

"Lassiter?"

Carlton ignored her and instead he looked pointedly at Gus. "I know you're upset, Guster, but I – "

"Upset? You have no idea what I'm feeling! I can't believe Shawn could love you! You're an uncaring, robotic bastard. He'd do anything for you! Yet, here you are, doing nothing!"

Carlton flinched as Gus' comment about how Shawn could love him. Some days he couldn't figure it out either but Shawn did love him, he had said it the first they'd kissed and to hear his doubts verbalized by Gus – it pissed him off.

"You have  _no idea_  what you're talking about," Carlton growled menacingly.

"Don't I?" Gus sneered as he shrugged out of Juliet's hold. "You're probably just pissed that I figured out what you were really doing with Shawn. You're just leading him on so that you can have your own fuck to – "

This time it was Gus who was cut off and not by a punch to the jaw but by a sharp, painful slap. Gus turned wide eyes to stare at Juliet. "Jul – "

"Shut up," she yelled angrily at Gus. "How dare you talk to Carlton like that and say such a horrible thing about your best friend!"

"But... H-he..."

"No! You had no right! Carlton is trying to remain focused on finding Shawn."

"B-b-but," Gus tried once more. "He didn't even flinch when he talked about the blood."

"That's because there wasn't much of it," Juliet defended. "That could mean a lot of different possibilities. Most likely it is Shawn's but such a small amount means it's more than likely a small wound. It could even be his kidnapper's and we could be one step closer to finding Shawn!"

Gus looked sheepish and rightfully so. Carlton was shocked speechless by Juliet defending him. He'd always thought the Junior Detective had feelings for Shawn but she seemed perfectly fine with Gus just outing his and Shawn's relationship.

Gus straightened his shoulders and looked timidly but bravely at Carlton. "I'm... I'm sorry... I just... How can you be so calm?"

"I'm not," Carlton said honestly. He didn't need Gus' apology since he knew the younger man had just been overcome by fear and anger. "But, I have to remain calm, so that my complete and all consuming fear, anger and heartache doesn't lead to me doing something that could jeopardize any evidence that could lead to finding Shawn or outing mine and Shawn's relationship."

"S-sorry about that as well," Gus said softly. "I didn't mean any of it."

"I know. You should go home. We're going to be here for a while. Get some rest," Carlton suggested, though it was more of an order.

"But... Shawn – "

"You'll be of no use to him if you're exhausted," Juliet interrupted.

"Okay," Gus sighed and he allowed Juliet to lead him to his car. Before he got in though, he called out, "Lassiter?"

"Yeah?"

"Bring him home."

"Don't worry, Gus, I'll bring Shawn home. No matter what," Carlton assured him.

Gus nodded and got in his car and drove off. Carlton watched him go before slumping onto the bench right in front of Psych. He put his head in his hands and sighed. How did his plans of spending a quiet night with Shawn end up like this?

He heard Juliet come to stand at his side, the soft clicks of her heels oddly comforting. Carlton pulled himself back together and met her eyes. "Yes, O'Hara?"

"You do know that you're giving me all the juicy details, right?" She told him sweetly.

He could only shake his head, a small smile playing on his lips. Of course she'd want all the little details about his and Shawn's relationship, from the beginning to now.

The black and whites were just arriving on scene, along with the CSIs. "I guess I can fill you in while we wait..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter centers around four different flashes into Shawn and Carlton's relationship. So they are flashbacks!
> 
> The first one is set about mid season two.
> 
> The second is set just after Lights, Camera, Homicido, so slight spoilers for the ep.
> 
> The third flashback is set sometime in season three and has nothing to do with any of the episodes.
> 
> And lastly, the fourth flash is set the morning of Shawn's disappearence

Carlton walked quickly out of the station. He was completely and utterly exhausted. Thankfully for him, he had the next two days off. He was going to need the rest, especially after the monster of a day he'd had.

He and O'Hara had been working a murder investigation for the better part of a week. It had been a pretty cruel and disturbing case. A young man had been murdered by his best friend over a girl that they'd both been interested in. The saddest part about it was that the girl hadn't even been interested in either one of them at all and had just been playing them against one another. The best friend, turned killer was now sitting in a holding cell.

But not before he had tried to kill Spencer as well.

As usual Shawn had led them to the killer and then did his usual revel. Only, Zane Reaver – the best friend turned killer – didn't take to kindly to Shawn's big revel and decided to grab the psychic and press the muzzle of a .22 calibre pistol to Shawn's temple.

It wasn't something Carlton wanted to experience again – ever. He had had the shot and could have – _should have_ – taken it but he didn't want to risk Shawn getting hurt, even the slightest bit.

The scene kept replaying itself over and over in Carlton's head. The panicked look in Shawn's eyes and the way his lithe body had trembled as Reaver pressed the muzzle tight against his temple. The whole thing had ended quite abruptly. Reaver had pulled back the hammer and Carlton fired, hitting Reaver in the shoulder. As Reaver had fallen backwards, in complete shock that he'd been shot, Shawn had lurched forward and Carlton caught him before he could hit the ground, muttering breathless 'thank you's' into Carlton's shoulder.

Carlton never wanted to see Shawn in such a situation again. It brought forth feelings in him that were better off left buried. All he wanted to do was head home, have a beer, pass out, and forget the fearful look in Shawn's eyes.

But it looked like he'd have to wait since there was a certain psychic leaning against his car. "Spencer,  _please_  no more visions..."

"No, no visions," Shawn smirked at Carlton. "I'm just here to thank you..."

"You've already thanked me, Spencer. Though, I do appreciate the gratitude."

"...And I just wanted to fulfil a vision that I had," Shawn said casually like it was something he said every day.

"Really? And what, pre-tell did this vision entail?" Carlton asked sceptically, not sure what Shawn was trying to play at.

"This..."

Shawn grabbed Carlton by the lapels of his suit jacket and pulled the detective flush against him and glided his lips gently over Carlton's own. Shawn kissed like he lived; lively, recklessly, and with a focused determination that he was known for. He put every ounce of himself into the kiss and Carlton could feel every bit of him.

Shawn didn't demand – with his lips – involvement but seemed to just want to caress and taste Carlton. He didn't take, he just gave. Slowly, oh-so slowly, he pulled away, his hazel eyes twinkling in the light of a nearby streetlight.

"I love you, Carlton," Shawn whispered softly, his lips brushing Carlton's as he spoke.

"I... Don't... Why? How?" Carlton stammered.

Shawn stayed pressed up against Carlton. "Why? Because you're determined, focused, strong, intelligent, handsome, and also because you keep me on my toes like no one else and I love the challenge. How? I just do."

The honesty with which Shawn spoke floored Carlton. Never had he heard someone say such things about him so earnestly. Not even his ex-wife had spoken of him like that when they were in love.

"How long? Why today?" Carlton demanded. He needed to know how he could have possibly missed this.

"A while," Shawn paused and thought it over. "I can't say for how long but if I had to give you a rough estimate... I'd have to say since you got me my bike back from the police impound."

"That – that long... God, that was almost over a year ago!"

"Mmhm... As for why I decided to tell you today... Mainly, because I had a gun to my head today and I didn't want to die without telling you how I feel." Shawn turned away from Carlton. "Well, I've told you and fulfilled my vision. See you in a few days." He flashed a smile over his shoulder and started to head towards his motorcycle.

Carlton's mind was frozen. Spencer –  _Shawn_ – had just kissed him, told him he loved him – had for over a year – and was now just walking away. Instead of thinking it through like he should, Carlton acted on impulse and raced after Shawn.

"Wait!"

Shawn turned to face him, a curious gleam in his eyes. "What?"

With not even an ounce of hesitation, Carlton grabbed Shawn around the waist, pulled him closed, and devoured the psychic's lips in a fiercely possessive and protective kiss. He kissed the younger man with such intensity that it surprised him greatly. Shawn gasped against the detective's mouth and Carlton took advantage of the opportunity presented to him and swept his tongue into Shawn's mouth, tasting and exploring him.

He tasted like pineapples, which wasn't surprising, and vanilla. Carlton didn't want to part from Shawn's tantalizing taste but the need for oxygen eventually pulled them apart. Shawn rested his head against Carlton's, their panting breaths mingling together across each other's cheeks.

"I'm... not re – "

Shawn cut him off with a quick kiss and a soft, knowing smile. "How about we start off with a date and see where this goes?"

Carlton nodded dumbly and was extremely looking forward to their first date.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Damn it, Shawn," Carlton cursed loudly as he slammed his sidearm and shield down on his faux marble kitchen counter. He turned to face the source of his ire. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was solving the case, Carlton!" Shawn snarled back at the detective.

"You could have been killed!"

"I wouldn't have been in any danger if Gus had just watched the prop table like he was supposed to be doing. It's his fault!"

"I'll have to remember that when your next stunt gets you killed and make sure they put it on your gravestone. 'It was Gus' fault!' How does that sound?" Carlton sneered.

"Oh come off it. You put yourself in danger everyday! What's the big deal if I do it once in a while?"

Carlton crowded into Shawn's personal space and pressed him up against the island in the middle of the kitchen. "The  _big deal_  is that it isn't your job to put yourself in danger. It's mine and I don't want you to get killed because of your phony 'visions' or 'vibes!'"

"I can handle myself," Shawn roared.

"You were almost killed by a psychotic soap opera fan with a nail gun!"

"But I wasn't!"

"That doesn't change the fact that I was terrified that one of those nails were going to hit you! I'll never get that what-if image out of my head!"

Shawn stared at Carlton with wide, shocked eyes. He looked at the detective,  _really_  looked at him. He was shaking with fury and his crystal blue eyes were filled with fear and worry as well as something Shawn just couldn't place. He realised then that he could no longer be as reckless as he was so used to being. Not with Carlton worrying and wanting to protect him.

Once he realised this, Shawn couldn't find it in himself to remain angry. He buried close into Carlton's chest and wrapped his arms tightly around the detective's waist. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just wanted to solve the case before she hurt someone else."

Carlton let go of some of his anger and returned Shawn's embrace, wrapping the psychic tightly in his arms. "I know how that feels and I admire you for wanting to protect the cast and crew but you need to protect and think about yourself. I need you to do that for me, Shawn. I need to know that you're safe so that I can continue to protect the rest of Santa Barbara."

Shawn snuggled in close to Carlton. "I can't promise that I won't do something reckless in the future but I can promise to be more careful."

"I can accept that," Carlton smiled into Shawn's hair. "Just know that next time you risk your life like that I'm going to handcuff you to the Crown Vic and never let you enter another crime scene again."

"Handcuffs? Kinky! How about instead of the Crown Vic, you just cuff me to the bed?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carlton opened his eyes blearily and snapped them shut a second letter. God, it was bright. He tried again, now prepared to face what lay behind his closed eyes. Once the stinging sensation of the bright lights faded away, Carlton took in his surroundings.

 _White walls, harsh fluorescent lights, noisy machines, and an IV drip. I'm definitely in a hospital,_  Carlton thought.

He tried to remember how he had ended up in a hospital but his foggy brain refused to figure out how he'd gotten there. Carlton turned his head to look at the IV drip, he wanted to see if it contained the good drugs but his eyes were drawn to a head of tousled brown hair that was resting on the hospital bed.

Shawn was hunched over in one of those standard uncomfortable chairs that all hospitals seemed to possess and his head was resting on the bed. It looked like a very painful position to be in. His hand was gripping Carlton's like a vice. From what Carlton could see of Shawn's face, the younger man was exhausted and there were deep worry lines etched into his sleeping face.

"Sh- Sh...awn," Carlton rasped. His throat was dry and rough. He coughed, swallowed a few times and then tried again. "Sh-Shawn."

Carlton's call was still quiet and he thought Shawn hadn't heard him over the monitors but the younger man stirred, his grip tightening on Carlton's hand, almost to the point of being painful, and raised fuzzy, red eyes to focus on the laid up detective.

"Carlton?" Shawn asked meekly.

"Hey," Carlton replied roughly.

He smiled softly at the way Shawn's eyes widened and sparkled vibrantly. His smile faded though when instead of kissing him senseless, like Carlton thought he would do, Shawn released his hand, got up, stretched quickly and walked out of the hospital room.

Carlton stared flabbergasted at the door. He couldn't fathom as to why Shawn would just leave. Had he done something wrong? It was so unlike him to just leave without telling Carlton off. Shawn was very vocal – in  _every_  situation – and his silence worried Carlton.

Before he could dwell on Shawn's odd behaviour further, the psychic walked back into the room with a plastic cup clenched in his hand. He thrust the cup into one of Carlton's hands. "Here, it's all you can have right now but it should help your throat."

Carlton stared into the cup and wasn't surprised to find ice chips. "Thanks, Sh - "

"Just..." Shawn gestured to the cup as he slumped down into the chair.

There were a few minutes of silence as Carlton sucked on his ice chips and Shawn watched the monitors, avoiding the detective's eyes. The silence was only broken by the rustling of Carlton's ice chips and the beeping of the monitors.

Carlton swallowed the remainder of his ice chips and tried to talk again. "Shawn?"

"That's better. Do you want me to get the doctor?" Shawn still refused to meet Carlton's eyes.

"No... No doctor. What happened?"

"Y-you were shot..." Shawn mumbled. "The bullet grazed your lung just slightly but they had to perform surgery so that they could remove the bullet."

"Who shot me?" Carlton asked. The last thing he could remember was driving with O'Hara to talk with a suspect.

"The suspect you and Jules went to talk to. From what Jules told me, you announced who you were and that you had some questions to ask and he... He just opened the door and..." Shawn trailed and wiped at his eyes where tears were starting to form.

"He just shot you. For no reason other than you were there to talk to him. I was so scared when Juliet told me you were rushed into surgery."

Carlton's heart broke at seeing Shawn so distraught and hurt. His normally bright and mischief filled eyes were dull and filled with tears. He was shaking and had one hand wound into the sheets of the hospital bed, clenching and unclenching around the stock white fabric.

"Hey... I'm okay, Shawn," Carlton tried to sooth him. "Come here."

"No... I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, I promise. Now get over here," Carlton growled, or at least he tried to.

Shawn hesitated before carefully getting himself situated on the hospital bed next to Carlton, on his uninjured side. He sat there stiffly, afraid to move in case he somehow managed to hurt the injured detective.

"Oh for the love of sweet Lady Justice! Come here,' Carlton said, exasperated, and pulled Shawn to rest right up against him. Shawn's head ended up coming to lay on his shoulder and his hand resting over Carlton's heart. "Much better, don't you think?"

"Yeah," Shawn whispered softly in agreement, snuggling deeper into Carlton's side. "You had me so worried."

"'m sorry," Carlton said into Shawn's hair and pressed a kiss to the dishevelled spikes. "It's part of the job."

"Doesn't mean I can't be worried," Shawn mumbled around a yawn.

"Go to sleep, Shawn."

"'Kay." Shawn tucked his head under Carlton's chin. "I love you," he whispered across the older man's collarbone and slipped off into sleep.

"I love you too, Shawn," Carlton whispered only once he was sure that Shawn was deeply asleep.

 _And one day I'll be able say it so that you can actually hear it,_  Carlton promised mentally as he followed Shawn into sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shawn snuggled deeper into the warmth that surrounded him. At least he tried to but it kept trying to squirm away. He wrapped himself tighter around the source of warmth to try and keep it in place but the warmth's struggles increased.

"-awn... Shawn! Wake up and let me go. I have to head into work today."

"Mm... No... You booked the day off," Shawn mumbled into Carlton's chest.

Carlton smiled as Shawn buried in close. He stroked a hand gently through the psychic's thick hair. His fingers massaged Shawn's scalp and his smile widened when his lover sighed in pleasure.

"I have tonight off, Shawn. Not the whole day."

"Stay... Please... I'm comfy," Shawn whined.

Carlton chuckled softly. "I'd love too, believe me I would, but someone has to protect all the citizens of Santa Barbara."

"Jules?"

"She's working tonight so that I can have the night off."

"Buzz?"

"I wouldn't trust him with a cat stuck in a tree," Carlton scoffed.

"True," Shawn agreed. "I'm going to have to let you go, aren't I?"

"You're the psychic, you tell me."

Shawn mumbled incoherently but unwound his arms from around Carlton. The detective got out of his bed and moved around his master bedroom, getting started on his morning routine. Once he was showered, shaved, and dressed, Carlton walked back into the bedroom, went over to Shawn's prone body still buried under his comforter and leaned down to brush a chaste kiss against Shawn's lips.

"See you tonight?" He asked against Shawn's lips.

"Of course! Have a good day at work," Shawn said sweetly.

Carlton brushed his lips against Shawn's once more. "You too. Don't forget to lock up."

The detective turned to leave the bedroom but stopped when he heard Shawn say, "I love you, Carlton." He turned to face Shawn, finally ready to say it back. But just as he opened his mouth, his cell phone rang. Carlton shot Shawn a smile and headed off to work.

He was already looking forward to his night in with Shawn. Carlton vowed to himself that he would tell Shawn that he loved him that night.

_There's nothing that's going to get in the way of me telling him that I love him, nothing._


	6. Chapter 6

Shawn stared blankly at the far wall of the warehouse. He was bored, sore, and scared. He wasn't sure how much time had passed since Walker had left him alone but it had to have been several hours at the very least.

He had tried to get at least some semblance of sleep. But it was fitful at best and filled with nightmares. Shawn knew the stories about Dane walker and it scared him even more that he couldn't use his usual tricks to try and throw Walker off balance so that he could try to make some sort of escape attempt. But his normal methods would only lead to Walker killing him.

Shawn had to stay focused. Carlton would arrive soon and save him. He had to. And yet...Shawn didn't want Carlton to come because Walker had some grudge to settle and a sick obsession with the detective. Shawn didn't want him to get hurt just so that he could rescue him.

"Damn it," Shawn cursed. "I can't just sit here and help lead Carlton to this sadistic fucker."

Knowing that it would hurt but also knowing that it was probably his only chance, Shawn tried to work his hands free. With his right shoulder dislocated, it was tough not to disturb it. He gritted his teeth against the pain and tried to wrench his left hand free.

Shawn bit down on his tongue – hard – to stop himself from screaming out in agony. His hands remained bound and all he had managed to accomplish was tug harshly on his injured arm.

"Fuck," he gasped out. The pain in his shoulder was like nothing he'd ever felt before. It was like every nerve ending in his right arms was being stabbed by a thousand knives.

Shawn breathed deeply. He couldn't get free. He couldn't talk Walker into letting him out of his restraints. There was nothing he could do and because of him, Carlton was going to end up walking into a death trap just to try and save him.

"Carlton..." Shawn whispered brokenly and lowered his head, completely shutting down in the despair he faced.

Walker watched with a twisted sense of fascination as Shawn tried to escape. A sick, malice filled smile blossomed on his face when his hostage only managed to cause himself pain. There was no chance for escape and his smile grew wider as he watched as his precious captive broke down when he realised that escape was truly impossible.

"Don't worry, Shawny," Walker sneered at the security camera monitors. "Your beloved lover will come to your rescue soon enough. And when he does... your touching reunion will be cut tragically short by my knife."

Walker couldn't wait! He really couldn't. He turned his cold blooded gaze back to the monitor.

"I might as well give Shawny something else to focus on," Walker remarked evilly. "Besides... when I call Carlton out to come and play, he'll come faster when he sees what I've done to his precious little lover."

Walker grabbed some of his handy toys and headed out the door, ready to have some fun with Shawn. "Time to play," he said in a sing-song tone as he walked down the corridor towards his hostage.

Shawn stiffened when he heard the door to his 'cell' open and the determined footsteps of Walker as he headed towards him. He kept his head bowed, not wanting to see that sinister smile on the twisted bastard's face.

"Why so glum, Shawny boy?" Walker asked. "Missing your lover already? It's only been one measly day."

 _That's it?_  Shawn wondered.  _It feels so much longer._

He didn't say anything out loud because he knew it would just get him a fist to the face or a knee to the gut. Shawn could already feel the bruises where Walker had dealt the blows the day before.

"Now, now, Shawny. It won't do you any good to stay quiet. Lassiter is still going to come save you and I'm still going to kill him whether or not you speak to me."

It chilled Shawn to the very bone when he heard that.  _He's right. No matter what I do, he'll still kill Carlton. God, what am I going to do?_

"You can't do anything, Shawny," Walker sneered, voicing Shawn's thoughts.

The echoing sound of something being place on the floor drew Shawn's attention. He looked up and saw Walker leaning over a few very, very sharp looking implements.

"Ah... I see now I have your attention. You know, the newspapers were wrong."

"H-how so?" _Keep him talking,_ Shawn thought to himself.  _Keep him talking and the nice, big, sharp things will stay away from you._

"I never tortured my victims with butter knives. I only killed them with the butter knife." Walked seemed thoughtful for a moment before he continued. "Although... I guess killing them with the butter knife was a form of torture. Do you know home much strength and effort it takes to impale someone on a butter knife, Shawny?"

"I'm afraid I don't,' Shawn said softly. "And I don't want to know."

"Oh? That's such a shame, because even though you don't want to know, you'll learn firsthand when I do it to Lassiter."

Walker picked up one of the knives and came to stand in front of Shawn. He eyed the psychic critically before unbuttoning Shawn's plaid shirt. Once his chest was exposed, Walker ran the dull side of the blade down the expanse of Shawn's chest.

"What happened to not wanting to ruin me before your guest of honour gets here?" Shawn asked worriedly as he kept his gaze warily on the knife.

"Oh... I'm not going to ruin you yet. I'm just going to mark you up a little bit. That way Lassiter will have more of an incentive to rush over when I call. Now sit nice and still. I don't want to hurt you," Walker half joked, half snarled.

Shawn couldn't help but stare, transfixed as the glinting steel started to cut shallow and deep criss-crossing lines into his chest, ripping screams and cries of pure agony from his lips.


	7. Chapter 7

Carlton splashed water on his face and stared blankly at his reflection. He couldn't help the small grimace that graced his face as he looked himself over. He looked like death warmed over and it wasn't the best look for him. Carlton sighed and diverted his eyes to look at his watch.

It read two in the afternoon. Exactly twenty-four hours ago, someone had abducted Shawn and none to gently either. Carlton couldn't believe that it had only been a day, since to him it felt like so much longer.

 _God, what am I going to do?_  Carlton thought bitterly to himself.  _It's only been one day, ONE DAY, and I feel like my heart is being ripped from my chest and torn into confetti. What am I going to do it he never –_

"No," Carlton hissed out loud, cutting off such a horrible thought. "He's going to come home and I'll make sure of it."

 _But what if you don't get to him in time?_ A dark part of him asked.

"I will get to him in time. I have no choice but to."

 _He's dead, you know,_  Carlton reflection hissed at him.

"No… No, he's not. I'd know if he was. I'm sure of it! He's not dead, he's not dead. Shawn isn't dead," Carlton repeated to himself.

 _Why? Because your heart tells you he's not._ His reflection sneered.  _The same heart, that doesn't even have space to love him._

"I do… I do love…"

 _See!_   _You can't even say it to yourself! How can you love Shawn when you can't even tell your own reflection you love him! Face it, Carlton, you don't love anybody or anything but your job._

Carlton violently snapped when he heard those words, the same words Victoria had uttered to him when she left him. He couldn't contain his anger and smashed the mirror into thousands of tiny pieces.

The remnants of the mirror fell to the bathroom floor; their small clattering echoed off the walls and drowned out all other noise. Carlton panted as his rage induced adrenaline wore off and left him trembling slightly. He unclenched his fist and winced as a surge of pain washed over him.

Carlton stared at his knuckles with a mixture of surprised and disbelief. The knuckles on his right hand were bloody and embedded with shards of the broken mirror; they had also begun to swell.

"Carlton?" Juliet's timid voice reached him.

"Yes, O'Hara?" He asked trying to make his voice sound as normal as possible so as to not give away any signs of his recent emotional breakdown.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes… I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute."

Carlton turned on the water once more and rinsed off his knuckles, wincing every time the water flowed into a slightly deeper cut. Satisfied, he dried his hands and stepped out of the bathroom. Juliet was waiting patiently for him in the station hallway. He watched silently as she looked him over carefully. He tried to shield his abused right hand from her eye line but she honed right in on it.

"Oh my god, Carlton! What did you do?" Juliet asked her voice filled with concern.

"It's nothing," Carlton tried to stress but she would have none of it.

" _This_ ," she gestured to his hand, "isn't nothing! Come on; let's go get you cleaned up."

Carlton let Juliet lead him over to a near by desk – albeit reluctantly – and waited as she grabbed a first-aid kit. He watched, completely detached, as she cleaned his knuckles, pulled out bits of broken glass, poured antiseptic on the cuts and bandaged his hand up with nurse like precision. She held onto his hand for a few extra moments once she was done.

"You  _will_  find him, Carlton," Juliet said seriously.

It was all she said. With a comforting pat on the hand, Juliet walked away and back to her desk. Carlton sat there dazed. It amazed him how perceptive Juliet was. She didn't even ask him to talk about it, didn't say nonsense things like, "Shawn wouldn't want you to do this to yourself!" She simply just held his hand, spoke that one sentence softly but with a fierce determination and walked away.

Carlton would never tell her but what she said gave him new hope and strength.  _I will find him,_  Carlton thought fiercely and went back to work. He went to his desk and was just about to call and light a fire under the SBPD CSIs when Chief Vick stepped out of her office.

"Detective Lassiter," she called. "A word." She briskly walked back into her office.

Carlton followed after her and came to stand in front of her desk. "Yes, Chief?"

"How's the Spencer case going?"

He had to suppress a flinch at he wording. He didn't like thinking of Shawn as just another case but everyone else did so he couldn't let it affect him, lest more people find out about his relationship with Shawn. Carlton swallowed around the newly formed lump in his throat and filled the Chief in.

"The CSIs were able to collect a shoe impression, a partial fingerprint, and a blood sample. We're still waiting on the results."

"I see… How are you holding up?"

Carlton stiffened. "Excuse me?"

"It's hard when a case involves someone you know. Even if it is someone you argue with all the time," Vick explained.

"Oh. I'm fine, Chief. I'll find him and we'll soon be back to wishing he was gone," Carlton said, carefully choosing his words.

"You're right," Vick smiled slightly.

"Is that all, Chief? I have some CSIs to yell at."

"Yes, you can go."

Carlton left Vick's office and went to Juliet's desk to see if the CSIs had called about the results while he was in talking to the Chief. He approached her desk and waited while she talked to someone on the phone.

"…No, we don't have any new leads yet. Gus… Don't worry. I'll let you know if we get any solid leads, okay. Uh… Hold on a second," she placed a hand over the receiver and looked at Carlton expectantly. "Yes?"

"Did the CSIs call about the results yet?"

"No… Not yet. Hopefully soon though."

"Damn it! I'm going to go down there and ask them what part of "urgent" they didn't understand," Carlton snarled and stomped out of the station.

Angrily, he walked to his car and was just about to get in when his cell phone rang. Quickly, Carlton checked the I.D. and his heart skipped several beats in his chest. It was Shawn!

"Shawn!" His plea was met by silence. "Shawn? Where are you?" Carlton was desperate; he didn't care if any of his fellow officers overheard his frantic plea. "Shawn?"

"So sorry, detective," a voice that was definitely not Shawn's drawled.

"What? Who… Who the fuck are you?" Carlton yelled into the phone.

"Temper, temper, Detective. Keep that up and I'll have to injure your little lover."

"Who the hell are you? What do you want?" This guy was really starting to piss Carlton off…But if he had Shawn and would hurt him… Carlton tried to hold back his anger – for Shawn's sake.

"You wound me, Detective. Don't you remember me? I'll give you a hint…. Butter Knife Butcher…"

Carlton felt his heart stop cold and start to slowly break apart in his chest.  _Oh God, not him, please don't let him have Shawn._  "Walker…"


	8. Chapter 8

Carlton stood stiffly in the station parking lot, eyes blown wide in dread and fear. Never in his wildest nightmares did he ever think that Dane Walker, Santa Barbara's most notorious serial killers, would escape and more importantly kidnap his love in some sick and twisted act of revenge.

"Walker..." Carlton snarled into the receiver. "You sick, twisted son of a bitch! What the fuck – "

"Ah, same old Carlton Lassiter. Always trying to be more intimidating than he actually is," Walker drawled happily. "You haven't changed a bit! I was worried for a minute there that you weren't the same detective I met all those years ago."

"Really? Why's that?" Carlton growled, venom, dripping from every word.

"Why? Well because of this handsome and spirited young lover you have. He's quite the catch. Lean, muscled body, vibrant green – oh, I'm sorry, their actually hazel – eyes, and that mouth... I'm sure you have all sorts of fun with that."

"Don't you lay a fucking finger on him!"

There was a casual laugh on the other end of the line. "Oh, it's much too late for that, Lassiter."

Carlton saw red. "You bastard! Wait until I get my hands on you! There won't be enough of you left for them to bury!"

"Oh my, such fire, such anger," Walker sounded positively gleeful, which only served to infuriate Carlton more. "I can't wait to see this new Carlton. Please come by soon! Otherwise... Young Shawny here will be the one with barely enough of him left for you to find."

"You'll regret ever laying a hand on him, Walker. I can guarantee you that," Carlton sneered deadly.

"We'll have to see about that. But, please don't keep me waiting Detective or you won't like what you'll find. I can guarantee  _you_  that."

The line went dead and left Carlton standing in the parking lot, fuming. Of all the things he had prepared himself for with Shawn's disappearance, being kidnapped by an infamous serial killer that he had arrested five years ago had not been one of them. Be that as it may, Carlton was going to do everything in his power to bring Shawn back to him.

More determined than ever before, Carlton raced back into the station/ "O'Hara," he roared once as he made it back into the bullpen.

"Yes?" She answered as she snapped to attention, awaiting orders. It really impressed Carlton, as much as it possibly could given the situation.

"I need every single file of the Butter Knife Butcher case. Every. Single. File." O'Hara stayed where she was, looking confused. "Did I stutter? Now, O'Hara!"

That got her attention and she was off like a shot, racing frantically towards the archives. Carlton stood still for a moment and tried to regain some of his composure so that he could stay somewhat in control when he went to talk to the Chief.

"Lassiter? What the hell was all that commotion about?" Chief Vick ordered more than asked as she strolled out of her office.

"Chief, I have a break in Shawn's abduction," Carlton replied as he gestured to her office, not wanting to discuss this in the middle of the station.

"Did the CSIs results come in?"

"No. The guy who took Shawn just contacted me."

"What? Why would the abductor contact you and who took him? What does he want?" Vick asked.

"Dane Walker – that's who took Shawn," Carlton said, completely overlooking the first question. "As for what he wants... He wants me to meet with him."

"Dane Walker?"

"Yes, though he is more commonly known as the Butter Knife Butcher..."

"He took Shawn? He should still be in jail!"

"Well he isn't and he has Shawn. I have O'Hara gathering all the files on Walker as we speak, so that I can figure out where he is. That way I can go and get Shawn," Carlton explained.

"Absolutely not," Vick declared.

"He's had Shawn for over twenty-four hours! There is no way to know what he's already done to him," Carlton defended.

"No, Lassiter. There is no way I am going to allow you to go willingly into an obvious trap! You arrested him and he's obviously out for revenge. Though why he took Shawn off all people to try and lure you to him, I don't know."

"But Chief..."

"No. Go through the files with O'Hara and try to determine where he might have taken Shawn," Vick ordered. "But you are under no circumstances allowed to go after him alone. Do I make myself clear, Detective?"

Carlton didn't – couldn't – say anything. If he did he was sure he was going to say or do something he'd regret. He left Vick's office and slammed the door behind him.

"O'Hara! Where are those fucking files?"

"R-right here, Sir."

"I want to know every location that Walker had access to. And I want to know it now!"

Carlton almost felt bad for yelling at Juliet, but he needed to know where the bastard was right now. Shawn's life was in that sick's man's hands and Carlton couldn't stand it.

"Well?"

"There are only three possible locations. His former house – "

"No, not there."

"His sister's house on- "

"No, not there either. Think O'Hara!"

"The last location is his old place of employment, a warehouse in the industrial sector. It was abandoned two years ago when the business went bankrupt. Do you think – "

"Of course that's where he is! Where the hell else would he be," Carlton yelled.

"Detective Lassiter!"

Carlton turned to see Chief Vick scowling at him. "What? We have his location. We need to go, O'Hara," he turned to the junior detective, "get some teams together. You'll follow behind me, while I go in first and secure Shawn. You and the teams will stand guard outside and will only come in if things go wrong."

O'Hara made to go but Vick's booming voice stopped her. "Not so fast, Lassiter! We need to assess the situation properly before we risks the lives of our officers to recover Spencer." Her voice left no room for argument. "O'Hara, go call for S.W.A.T. and we'll hold a briefing in half an hour."

"No," Carlton growled loudly. "I am not going to just leave Shawn on his own with that bastard while you waste time strategizing. I'm going and I'm going now."

"Detective, if you disregard this  _direct order_ , I'll – "

"You'll what? Fire me?" Carlton sneered. He walked angrily towards his desk. Pulling his sidearm from his holster and his badge from his belt, Carlton slammed them down on his desk. Silence fell over the entire situation and everyone paused. "Consider this my resignation!"

With that said, Carlton turned and walked out of the SBPD.

Some things were more important than his job as a detective and Shawn just so happened to be one of those things.


	9. Chapter 9

Walker strolled happily into the vacant room – well it wasn't entirely vacant since his hostage was bound tightly to the metal chair in the middle of it. He stood in the doorway; just soaking in the sight of the motionless body slumped forward in the chair. Shawny was a fun toy. He resisted and suppressed the sheer agony Walker's skilled torture techniques caused. All of Walker's other toys had just screamed straight from the beginning and didn't resist even a little.

They were absolutely no fun! That's why they never lasted long. He'd kill them as soon as they showed their weakness. Not Shawny though, he was a special one.

 _Maybe_ , Walker plotted;  _maybe I'll keep him after I get rid of Lassiter. Yes, that's a wonderful idea! That way I'll be able to play with him until he breaks and then finish him of oh-so slowly._

With an especially twisted smile on his face, Walker approached the chair. Now that Lassiter was surely on his way, he decided to inform his new toy. He wanted to kill any hope that Shawny was still clinging desperately to.

"Oh, Shawny," Walker sang as he came to a stop just a breath away from the back of the chair. "I have excellent news!"

"You've decided to do everyone in the world a favor and jump in front of a train?" Shawn snarled at his captor.

Walker's scowled darkly and quicker than lightning he had Shawn's head wrenched back and a sharp blade at the younger man's throat. "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk, Shawny. Here I thought we were passed all these kinds of comments."

Walker pressed the blade more snugly against Shawn's neck. "I guess not, you twisted prick – " Shawn's comeback turned into a near silent whimper as Walker dragged the blade across his neck, drawing a slow trickle of blood from the shallow wound he had carved into the psychic's flesh.

"No more of that, Shawny. Otherwise I won't tell you the riveting news about your beloved Carlton," he breathed into Shawn's ear. Walker smiled maliciously against the lobe when he felt his new toy go rigid in the chair. "Now, that's much better."

Walker removed the knife, which was now tinted red, from Shawn's neck and let the psychic's head fall forward. He took in the slumped shoulders, shadowed eyes and completely dejected aura that radiated off his toy and smiled proudly. Walker came to stand in front of the chair, desperately wanting to see Shawn's reaction when he told him the news.

"He's coming for you. Even though he knows it's a trap and will surely be his death, he's still coming," Walker said coldly as he watched Shawn's face for the reaction he was looking for.

_Ah, there it is!_

Shawn's eyes were blown wide with fear. His whole being went from dejected and hopeless to stricken. It was positively delicious.

"Oh, don't worry, Shawny," Walker mock soothed as he pat Shawn's hair as if to comfort him. "I'll let you have a couple minutes alone with him. But you'd better enjoy it because…" He trailed off before curling his fingers and tugging painfully until his captive's hazel eyes met his. "It'll be the last time you'll see him alive. And then… you'll be mine."

Carlton drove like a maniac towards his apartment. Since the Crown Vic was his only way home, he took full advantage of the police lights. When he got to his apartment he raced into the building, leaving the keys in the Crown Vic. What did he care if it got stolen?

Once inside, he went to his room, opened his closest and unlocked his personal gun safe. Carlton removed his jacket and picked up on his pistols. He loaded it quickly and placed it in his shoulder holster. He grabbed a backup piece just in case and slipped it into the waistband at the back of his pants. With weapons at the ready, he got back into the car and headed off.

He once more disregarded the speed limits and other drivers. All he could focus on was getting to Shawn and saving him from Walker. There was no telling what the bastard would do –  _had done_  – to Shawn.

"Hold on, Shawn," Carlton whispered as he drove.

It didn't take long for him to reach the warehouse. He surveyed the layout and assessed the situation. The windows were high off the ground and there was only one door on this side of the building.

The shrill ringing of his cell phone startled Carlton. The caller I.D. read O'Hara and even though he knew that he shouldn't, he answered. "What, O'Hara?"

"I take it you haven't gone in yet."

"No, now what do you want?"

"Vick is pretty pissed off at you, just so you know. I'm going to give you half and hour to get Shawn and get out. If you don't call me by then, I'm coming in after you."

With that said, she hung up. Carlton had to admit that he was touched. With Juliet watching his back, he was sure he'd be able to rescue Shawn.

He pulled his pistol out of his shoulder holster and clicked the safety off. Shawn was somewhere in the warehouse before him and he was going to get him back.

"Here we go."

A small alarm sounded in the room where Shawn was being held. He instantly stiffened, remember what Walker had said.

_**"It'll start soon. Just wait for the whistle!"** _

_No, no, no!_  Shawn thought frantically.  _Please let it be a false alarm!_

Fear had taken root in his heart. No matter how much he hoped, he knew if wasn't a false alarm. Carlton was here and he was coming to save him but it would only lead to his death.

The sound of the door behind him opening terrified Shawn.  _Please be Walker. Please be Walker,_  he chanted mentally, over and over in his head.  _Don't be Carlton. God, please let him be safe._

"Shawn?"

A choked sob was all the answer Shawn could give. Tears sprung to his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. That sweet, rich, worried voice could only belong to Carlton. There was nothing anyone could do now.

Thundering footsteps echoed around the room and soon Carlton was standing in front of Shawn. He fell to his knees and reached out to cup his young lover's face. Forcing him to raise his head, Carlton could see the extent of Shawn's injuries. There was a three inch cut – at least – over his left eye and it was scabbed over and infected. He had several bruises along his jaw as well as a split lip.

"Oh God… Shawn, are… Oh God," Carlton murmured.

"Y-y-you have to leave," Shawn whispered.

"Not without you!"

"He's going to kill you! I'm not worth your life!" Shawn yelled.

"Yes you are!"

Carlton pushed forwards and kissed Shawn passionately but gently, mindful of his lover's split lip. It was quick and didn't satisfy either's pain or longing but it was all he could offer his lover.

"Come on; let's get you out of here."

"No! Please," Shawn begged, eyes pleading with Carlton. "I can't watch you die. Please… leave."

"No and that's final! I'm not leaving you here with that bastard."

"You're so harsh, Detective."

Carlton stood and found Walker standing causally behind Shawn's chair. He raised his pistol and aimed it at the serial killer. "Back the fuck away from him."

"Oh, I don't think so," Walker sneered. "You should be the one backing the fuck away." He brandished a blade and pointed at Carlton's gun with it. "I can kill dear Shawny here before you can pull the trigger."

"Wanna bet?"

"Do you?"

Carlton watched as Walker draped himself over Shawn's shoulders, holding the knife against the psychic's cheek. The wide eyed look of fear in his lover's eyes caused Carlton to move away.

"Very good, Detective. Now drop the gun."

He did as Walker ordered and dropped the gun and kicked it across the room before the bastard could suggest it. "Happy? Let Shawn go. I'm here, you don't need him anymore," Carlton growled.

"Hm… I don't think so, Detective," Walker smirked.

"What? You bastard!" Carlton made a move to go after Walker but stopped immediately when he saw him put the blade to Shawn's neck.

"Now, now, don't make me damage your precious lover anymore than I already have."

"What?" Carlton gasped, his heart constricting in his chest. He hadn't seen any other injuries other than the ones on his lover's face.

"What's this? Shawny, you didn't show him?" Walker beamed evilly. He began to slowly unbutton Shawn's shirt and it was then that Carlton noticed the red staining it.

"Stop touching him!" The detective roared.

"Oh fine! I'll let you find them for yourself. But one wrong move…" Walker took a few steps back but kept a firm grip on the knife.

Carlton knelt in front of Shawn once more. His gentle hands moved nimbly over the buttons on Shawn's shirt, like he had done a thousand times before. This time though, instead of revealing a gasping chest ready to be ravaged, removing the shirt only revealed several cuts ranging from shallow to deep marring Shawn's chest.

"My… God…"

"Do you like it?" Walker smirked.

"Shawn?" Carlton asked. Shawn's silence was unnerving him.

"Sorry…"

"No, no. It's not your fault. It's okay. I'll get you to a hospital soon." Carlton stood up and pressed a kiss to Shawn's forehead and faced Walker. "Let's finish this."

"So tough. I think that before I "finish this…" I'll have some fun with Shawny first."

Walker moved back towards Shawn and the fear Carlton saw in his lover's eyes made him snap. He charged Walker and tackled him to the floor, the knife falling from Walker's grip and skidding across the warehouse floor.

"Carlton!" Shawn screamed. He felt so helpless, stuck sitting there. He struggled to get free but his injured body protested his movements. "Damn it. Carlton!"

The detective and serial killer wrestled violently on the warehouse floor, each trying to get one up on the other. Walker landed a solid punch to Carlton's jaw, forcing the detective off him and getting up he dealt a harsh kick to the detective's side.

"This is going to be  _so_  satisfying," Walker beamed as he walked over towards his knife. "I get to kill you and keep your lover as my new toy! He's so much fun to cut, so responsive and sensitive."

Carlton rolled onto his back which pressed his spare pistol hard into his lover back. He quickly got to his feet and placed one hand on the butt of the gun but no drawing it just yet. "You'll find that I'm not so easy to kill."

"We'll see."

Walker charged at Carlton, knife pointed at the detective's heart. Carlton bided his time and just as they were about to collide, he pulled out the gun and fired. They both dropped to the ground as the sound of the shot echoed off the walls.

"C-Carlton…?" Shawn called brokenly. Neither Carlton nor Walker moved and the sight of his motionless lover stopped his heart cold as terror washed through him. "CARLTON!"


	10. Chapter 10

Shawn sat there stiffly and unblinking as he waited for any sign of movement from his lover. But none came. With a new found rush of adrenaline flooding through his system, he managed to wrench himself free from his bindings. A scream of agony ripped itself free from Shawn's throat as he completely wrecked his already dislocated shoulder in the process of freeing himself.

He staggered to his feet but immediately collapsed back into the chair, his legs to weak to hold him. "Carlton, come on. Get up! Injured lover over here!"

There was still no movement. Shawn was too far away to be able to see why his lover had yet to move. He tried once more to stand up and barely managed to stay up this time. Once he was somewhat steady on his feet, Shawn moved slowly and carefully across the warehouse towards the fallen detective, cradling his injured arm to his chest as he walked.

It was slow going and he hadn't even made if halfway towards Carlton before a slight movement caught his eye. "Carlton..." he called softly, hopefully.

But it wasn't Carlton who had moved, it was Walker. The gangly serial killer stumbled to his feet. His cold, calculating eyes focusing on Shawn's terrified hazel ones. "So sorry, Shawny, but it looks like I won."

Shawn was stricken silent. His eyes darted to Carlton who still had yet to move. But he noticed that Walker was severely struggling and clutching at his left side. Red slowly seeped through the thing material of his shirt and through his fingers, dripping down to the floor. He was injured, gravely.

"Don't think you can stop me just because I was shot. I'm going to kill you just like I killed Detective Lassiter," Walker sneered. His knife was still in hand but it was tinged red with blood.

"No... He isn't dead," Shawn whispered brokenly.

"Face it, Shawny. He left you all alone and at my mercy."

Walker approached Shawn slowly. The psychic was frozen in place, staring at Carlton's prone body, hoping for any sign of movement. As Walker drew closer to Shawn, he raised his knife, getting ready to deal the fatal blow. Shawn didn't even move, didn't blink, and didn't think. If Carlton was gone, what did he have left?

"Goodbye, Shawny!"

Just before the knife could sink into Shawn's unresponsive body, a deafening bang echoed throughout the room and Walker slumped to the ground. His eyes wide in death as his body hit the cement.

"Goodbye, Walker," Carlton's cool voice sounded.

"C-Carlton...? Y-you're..." Shawn couldn't get out another word. He sunk to the ground. His mind was reeling and his adrenaline spike had faded away. He felt empty and numb and all he could do was stare wide eyed at Carlton.

"Shawn!" Carlton yelled and raced across the room to his lover. He fell to his knees, ignoring the pain to gather his lover close, extremely careful of the various injuries Shawn had collected during his time with Walker. "Are you okay?"

"I... I'm fine..." Shawn said honestly as he absorbed Carlton's warmth. "I was just held against my will for who knows how long but I'm just peachy." He wrapped his left arm around Carlton and held on tight. "Thank God you're safe."

"I should be the one saying that." Carlton smiled as he tucked Shawn's head under his chin. "We should get you to a hospital," he suggested but made no move to stand up. He just wanted to hold Shawn close and make sure that his lover was actually safe and in his arms.

"I... I don't think I can... wa...lk."

Shawn slumped bonelessly against Carlton. "Shawn? Shawn!" He frantically checked for a pulse and sighed in relief when he found it.

Not wanting to spend any more time in the place where Walker had held and tortured Shawn. Carlton carefully positioned his lover and picked him up. He cradled Shawn's injured body close and protectively.

Just as he moved towards the door the sound of dozens of footsteps heading his way reached him. He held Shawn closer not sure what to expect on the other side of the door.

"SBPD! Hands in the air!" O'Hara shouted as she and a tactical team burst through the door. Her eyes locked on Carlton and she raced towards him. "Carlton? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, O'Hara. I'm more worried about Shawn," Carlton replied softly. "Please tell me you called for a bus on your way here."

"Yeah, it's right outside." Her eyes fell upon Shawn's abused and unconscious form. "Oh my god,' she whispered in shock.

"I'm taking him out," Carlton said. There was no way in hell he was going to let anyone but the paramedics touch Shawn.

"But... You're arm... It's bleeding!"

"I'm taking him out, O'Hara," he ordered even though he had no authority to do so.

"R-right," Juliet stammered.

Carlton smiled softly at Juliet. He could see her worry for both himself and Shawn as plain as day. "I'm okay, O'Hara. The bastard just nicked my shoulder that's all. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay." Juliet seemed fine with his answer but her worry was still evident in her eyes, though that same concern soon disappeared as she put on her detective mask. "Get out of here, Lassiter, though you'll have to come by the station in a few days to give your statement."

"Yes, Detective."

Juliet smirked until her eyes fell on Shawn. "Take care of him."

Carlton held Shawn closer to himself, almost as if someone was going to take him away from him. "You know I will." He strolled towards the door but before he left he looked at her over his shoulder. "See you at the hospital when you're done here?"

"Nothing could keep me away."

Carlton made his way out of the warehouse; nodding to the people he passed, several of which who nodded back and told him to take care of Shawn. The sun was just beginning to set as he walked out of the warehouse and he couldn't help but snort at how cliché it was. The hero rescues the damsel in distress and they walk into a sunset after the final battle with the evil villain.

"You'd have a field day with this, Shawn," Carlton whispered affectionately into his unconscious lover's ear.

As he approached the ambulance a swarm of waiting paramedics rushed forward to meet him. They were calling orders to each other as they raced towards Carlton.

"Detective! What are the victim's injuries?" The first paramedic to reach Carlton asked.

Carlton bristled angrily at hearing Shawn referred to as a victim. "First," he growled, "his name is Shawn and you'll refer to him as such."

"Yessir!"

"Second... He sustained several different injuries. He's got a wound over his left eye and it looks infected, several cuts along his torso ranging from shallow to deep, and he was cradling his shoulder, I think it's dislocated."

"Alright, thank you, Detective. Please place him carefully on the gurney."

Carlton lowered Shawn onto the gurney gently, cradling his head tenderly. It was then that he noticed the shallow cut running along his neck. "God," he whispered in disgust. "Th-there's another cut along his neck," he told the medics shakily.

"Okay. We're going to take him now and we'll meet you at the hospital," the paramedic said as two others loaded Shawn into the ambulance.

"I'm coming with you," Carlton practically snarled.

"Detective, only relatives or significant others can – "

"Let me make this clear since you seem to be having trouble understanding me," Carlton growled threateningly as he leaned in nice and close to the paramedic. "I am in that ambulance with you and going to the hospital with Shawn. Are we clear?"

"Y-y-yessir."

"Good," Carlton smirked evilly and patted the paramedic on the cheek before stepping into the ambulance.

He sat down heavily on one of the built-in benches and immediately grabbed onto one of Shawn's limp hands. Carlton watched as the medics worked on making sure Shawn was going to be healthy and safe.

 _I'm never letting you out of my sight again,_  Carlton promised.


	11. Chapter 11

Shawn was whisked away once they reached the hospital and Carlton was left hanging around waiting to hear when he could see his lover. Luckily, his waiting was filled by several phone calls and getting his own wounds dealt with. He hadn't even thought about his own wellbeing until a passing nurse had noticed blood seeping through his shirt and dripping onto the hospital floor.

He had a few bruised ribs due to Walker getting in a few lucky punches to his torso when they had wrestled with each other. Carlton also had to get ten stitches to close the semi-deep gash on his shoulder from Walker's knife.

Carlton was starting to become inpatient as he waited to hear about Shawn's condition and when he could see him. He was just about to go and yell at someone at the nurses' station when a nurse finally came up to him. "You're here for Mr. Spencer, right?"

"Yes. How is he?" Carlton asked worriedly as he rose from the uncomfortable chair he had been sitting in for over three hours.

"He's doing fine. He's awake and already charming all the nurses," she said sweetly with a small smile. "The paramedics who brought him in said you wanted to interview him. You can go and do that now if you'd like, Detective."

"I'm not a detective anymore but I do  _need_  to see him," Carlton clarified.

"Oh..." She eyed Carlton with a confused and worried expression. "I'm sorry, only family or the police can be allowed to visit him right now. You can come by tomorrow and visit during regular hours."

"No, I need to see him," Carlton stressed.

"I'm sorry but only family – "

"I  _am_  family! Shawn's min – my lover. Please let me see him," Carlton pleaded. He didn't care who happened to overhear him pleading desperately with the nurse.

She thought it over for a minute before smiling softly. "Alright, he's in 2501. Stay as long as you need."

"Thank you!"

Carlton headed straight for Shawn's room. He didn't even hesitate for a second when he arrived. He burst right into the room and was at Shawn's bedside in a heartbeat. Shawn lay in the hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and some basic monitoring devices but he was awake. Sleepy eyed but awake and smiling at him.

"Hey," Shawn said, voice rough with sleep and exhaustion.

"Hi," Carlton whispered as he gripped Shawn's free hand tightly.

"You okay?"

"Me? I'm fine. Though I wasn't the one held captive for almost twenty-seven hours," Carlton joked lightly.

"Twenty-seven hours? Really? Felt like so much longer," Shawn mused.

"Same." Carlton squeezed Shawn's hand tighter. "So, what's the diagnosis?" The younger man made a face and the ex-detective sighed. "What did the doctors say about your injuries?"

"Oh, um... Mild concussion resulting from the nice blow to the head that prick Walker bestowed upon me. Oh, and four stitches," Shawn briefed Carlton and pointed at the bandage above his left eye.

"Next on the list; the nice cut on my neck, it's shallow and will hurt while it heals but no major damage there. Dislocated shoulder..."

"Shouldn't the doctors have, um, relocated it?" Carlton asked.

"They would have but the muscles are too damaged at the moment to sustain the trauma that 'relocating' it would cause." Shawn saw Carlton wince and squeezed his hand fiercely. "Its okay, Carly. I'll heal nice and quick, you'll see."

"I know. What about the cuts along your stomach and chest?"

"They weren't as deep and they thought and only a few needed stitches and there shouldn't be any scarring. Thankfully, none of my wounds besides the one above my eye got infected and even with the infection in the cut above me eye is minimal. The docs think I'll be here for about three maybe four days. Then we can go home," Shawn smiled.

"That's great. I want you home," Carlton whispered and pressed a kiss to Shawn's hand.

"Good because I  _really_  want to go home," Shawn smiled lovingly at his lover. "So anything exciting happen while I was kidnapped?"

"Uh... Well..." Carlton scratched the back of his head nervously. "I, um... kind of quitmyjob."

Shawn stared at Carlton blankly. "I'm sorry. This concussion must be really screwing with me because I could have sworn you just said you quit your job."

"I... did quit..."

"You... What! Why?"

"Vick... Well, she wouldn't authorize your rescue fast enough after I got the call from Walker. She wanted to strategize and talk over ideas with SWAT. I couldn't just sit around and wait so I quit and came after you."

"You... You idiot!" Shawn half yelled, half murmured. "I'm not worth quitting your job over."

"Yes you are" Carlton snapped. "I fucking love you! I'd do anything for you"

"I know...and that's what worries me." Carlton was about to protest when Shawn cut him off. "But I'd do anything for you too."

Carlton got up from where he knelt beside the bed and moved to lean over Shawn. "I love you..." He pressed a chaste, yet possessive kiss to Shawn's lips.

They broke slowly and Shawn smirked up at Carlton. "Took you long enough to say it. I love you too." He placed a soft kiss on Carlton's lips, soon losing himself in his lover's feel and taste, relishing in what he had thought he'd never be able to feel or taste again.

And that's how Gus and Juliet found them.

"Dude!" Gus yelped. "Don't do that in front on me!"

Shawn pulled away from Carlton's lips slowly but not before drawing the ex-detective's lower lip into his mouth and nibbling on it sensuously. "Aw, come on, Gus. You're just jealous of our hot gay lovin."

"I see you're feeling well," Juliet beamed as she walked over and pecked Shawn on the cheek.

"I'm good, Jules. You know me. Never one to let anything get me down."

Shawn smiled widely at Juliet but Carlton could see traces of fear still lingering in his lover's eyes. But he knew it would eventually fade, just like it had eventually faded away after Carlton had been shot.

"That's good, Shawn." Juliet smiled but there was a hint of mischief in her eyes. "But... Why didn't you tell me that you and Carlton were dating?"

"Did the kiss you just walked in on clue you in?" Shawn joked.

"No, Gus spilled the beans."

Shawn stared in awe at his best friend. "You did?"

"I... uh... kind of let it slip when I yelled at Lassiter last night," Gus admitted sheepishly.

"God, I sure missed a lot."

Juliet immediately jumped at the opening Shawn gave her and filled the psychic in on everything – even though it wasn't much, every detail of his case, Gus' outburst and Carlton's - word for word in both cases.

Carlton just sat there and watched Shawn as the other three talked. So he was the first to notice Shawn's eyes droop and the exhaustion seeping into the psychic.

"O'Hara, Guster," Carlton interrupted. "Shawn needs his rest. Come and visit tomorrow."

"Okay. See you later, Shawn," Juliet said and left after giving Shawn one more kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to have you back, buddy," Gus said and gave Shawn and awkward hug, very mindful of his best friend's injuries. "See you both tomorrow."

Gus left the room and then it was just the two lovers. Shawn's eyes were slipping shut, which caused Carlton to smile. "Go to sleep, Shawn. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Good. Love you." With that he slipped off into a deep sleep.

"Love you too," Carlton whispered. He brushed the hair on Shawn's forehead back. He just needed to know that his lover was here and safe. "I thought I was going to lose you."

Carlton made a promise to himself, right then and there. He was going to ask Shawn to move in with him permanently and he was going to make their upcoming one year anniversary more memorable than anything else before it.

He gripped Shawn's hand tight in his. They were together and nothing else was going to come between them or try to separate them ever again.


	12. Chapter 12

Shawn's recovery took a bit longer than expected. He spent an extra two days in the hospital due to the slight trauma the muscles in his shoulder received when the doctors reset his dislocated shoulder. Carlton had not been pleased when he found out the doctors had done more damage than they had managed to fix.

_"You bastards are supposed to heal him! Not cause him even more pain," the former detective yelled._

_"His shoulder was badly injured during his ordeal. We waited as long as we could to reset his shoulder. If we waited any longer, Mr. Spencer's shoulder would_ _**never** _ _have healed properly."_

_"Still... He's in more pain now then bef – "_

_"Carlton," Shawn called soothingly. Carlton looked over at his lover and Shawn beckoned him over while he spoke. "Come here and leave the doc alone. I'm fine, just sore. Now, come here."_

_Carlton moved and sat by Shawn on the hospital bed. While he wasn't looking, the psychic gestured with his uninjured hand for the doctor to leave. While he still could. The doctor made his escape and Shawn went about distracting Carlton with a few heated kisses._

Carlton ended up spending most of his time at the hospital while Shawn recovered. He only really left when he had to go home to shower and change. He did end up going down to the station on day three of Shawn's hospital stay to fill out a statement and explain what had happened in the warehouse.

_"Detec – Mr. Lassiter, a word?" Chief Vick called out to Carlton the moment he stepped foot out of the conference room._

_He shrugged his shoulders and followed her into her office. "What can I do for you, Chief Vick?" Carlton asked politely._

_She sat at her desk and stared at him for a moment before speaking. "I want you to withdraw your resignation."_

_"Excuse me?" Carlton asked, completely flabbergasted._

_"I'm willing to overlook your blatant disregard of my orders and fudge all documents relating to this case so that this unpleasantness never happens again. If you come back that is."_

_"What? Why?"_

_"Well... because the force, as well as the people of Santa Barbara, need you," Vick said seriously. "And... All the other detectives are crap compared to you."_

_Carlton chuckled at that and thought it over for a moment. "Fine. I'll withdraw my resignation. But..."_

_"But?"_

_"You should know... I can't promise not to react like the way I did in the future if Shawn is somehow involved in a dangerous situation like that again."_

_"Why_ _**did** _ _you react the way you did, Carlton?"_

_"Shawn and I... We're involved – romantically and I'm going to be putting him before my job if the situation ever calls for it again," Carlton said, chin held high in pride and determination._

_A moment of silence passed before Vick could bring herself to reply. "I... Well, I can't say that I'm not surprised. I would have_ _**never** _ _thought that you two were..."_

_"We are and Shawn means more to me than this job, so if that's going to be a problem..."_

_"Not at all. Just keep it away from the station for both your sakes. Not everyone will be as accepting."_

_"We're aware."_

_"Good. See you in a week, Detective," Vick said. She saw Carlton's confused expression. "Spend some time with Shawn. He'll need you."_

_"Thank you, Chief," Carlton said sincerely before heading out of the SBPD, happy to have his job back._

It was the day before Shawn was going to be released from the hospital that Henry showed up. He was not pleased to be the last one to know about what had happened and Carlton had winced mentally since he had forgotten to tell the older Spencer.

_"Shawn Spencer! What did you do this time?" Henry roared as he burst into his son's hospital room._

_"Nice to see you too dad," Shawn replied sarcastically. "And, hey, where are my 'Get well soon' flowers?"_

_Carlton could sense the upcoming duel between older and younger Spencer and tried to excuse himself from the room before it began and also before either man could spot his escape attempt. He didn't make it far before being tugged back into his chair by Shawn. Unfortunately, Henry saw that and immediately rounded on the – now reinstated – detective._

_"Lassiter? What the hell are you doing here?"_

_"Uh... um..."_

_"He's the one that saved my life, dad. I want him here," Shawn answered for his speechless lover._

_"Right... I heard from Gus about what happened. From Gus, Shawn! Why did I have to find out from Gus, Shawn?"_

_"That's my fault, Henry," Carlton spoke up._

_"How so, Lassiter?" Henry practically growled._

_"The chief asked me to call you the night Shawn went missing and with everything that was going on, it slipped my mind."_

_"Slipped your mind, huh? It slipped your fucking mind that my son was taken hostage by the Butter Knife Butcher because he wanted revenge against you!"_

_Carlton diverted his gaze to anyone or anything that wasn't Henry. They settled on Shawn and he could see the anger at what his father had said smouldering in his hazel eyes._

_"Shawn..." Carlton said in warning. There wasn't any reason for Henry to know about them. Sure, practically everyone else did but they had figured it out on their own – except O'Hara and Chief Vick though._

_Henry looked between Carlton and Shawn confused as to why Carlton had such a don't-you-dare tone to his voice. "What are you keeping quiet about, Shawn?"_

_"It's nothing, Henry," Carlton supplied politely._

_"I wasn't asking you, Lassiter. You're lucky that I'm not going to inform Karen about you incompetence regarding how you handled this case!"_

_Carlton saw Shawn snap and it wasn't pretty._

_"Leave Carlton alone! Damn it, dad. The man saved my life and you berate him over not waiting three minutes that could have meant my life to call you. If he had called, you probably would have said, "Oh, he just took off again or something," right?_

_"You would have bitched him out for not waiting forty-eight hours before beginning the search!" Shawn paused and took a deep breath and flinched at the pain taking a deep breath in had caused him. "Hell, look at what that sick prick did to me in just over twenty-four hours. Wonder if I'd still be alive if Carlton had waited the standard forty-eight."_

_Henry was taken aback. He couldn't understand why Shawn was so angry. "Why are you defending Lassiter? Last time I checked, you couldn't stand him."_

_"I_ _**can** _ _stand, Carlton Hell, I love him, dad!"_

_Silence filled the hospital room. Shawn was panting, all the yelling taking a toll on his damaged torso. Henry was wide eyed and opened mouthed in shock. And Carlton was just trying not to let his fear at what Henry would do to him show._

_It took a moment but Henry's brain finally restarted. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Carlton would have been worried if Shawn didn't look so smug._

_"Shawn?"_

_"Don't worry. He'll get over it. He accepted a long time ago that I swing both ways. So, give him sometime and he'll get used to the idea of us being together."_

_"We'll see... Though, I highly doubt it."_

Today though was the day Shawn was finally coming home. Well going to Carlton's apartment but the detective planned to ask the psychic to move in with him. He wanted to wake up next to Shawn every morning and know that he was coming home to Carlton every night.

"Here we are," Carlton said as they pulled into his parking spot.

"Excellent driving as always, Jeeves," Shawn teased.

Carlton took it in stride as he locked up the Crown Vic. They walked in together and after kicking off their shoes and coats, Carlton and Shawn settled themselves next to each other on the couch.

"God, it's good to be out of the hospital," Shawn exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, that's for sure."

"You know... I thought I'd never see your place again," Shawn whispered softly.

Carlton pulled Shawn close, mindful of his injuries and whispered, "You doubted that I'd find you?"

Shawn looked up at Carlton with wide, disbelieving eyes. "No, no, I never thought that! I just...I thought... that by the time you found me... It'd be too late to get me to the hospital."

"Oh, Shawn," Carlton murmured into Shawn's hair. "I... I didn't... I thought I wasn't going to be able to find you."

"I never thought that," Shawn repeated.

"I know but I did. We had no leads. I didn't know where to look until Walker called me. Isn't that pathetic? I couldn't find my own lover."

"But you did. You found me and now we're both together and safe."

"Y-yeah we are."

Carlton held Shawn close and stroked the younger man's hair and back in soothing circles. He pulled Shawn back slightly and leaned forward, brushing a feather light kisses all over Shawn's face.

Shawn moaned softly. "God... I thought I'd never be able to be with you like this again. I need this, you, Carlton."

Carlton cupped Shawn's face and looked deeply into Shawn's hazel eyes. He still couldn't believe that he had almost lost this handsome, spirited, reckless, loving, annoying man His heart throbbed painfully at the thought of having lost this.

It must have been noticeable in his expression, what he was thinking about, because Shawn returned Carlton's gesture and cupped his face. "Hey..." Shawn's voice was soft. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. Not now, not ever." There was a promise there and one that Shawn would never break.

Carlton couldn't find anything to say in response, so instead he pulled Shawn to him and held him in a fierce embrace. He felt Shawn's arms wind around him and the psychic his face into the crook of Carlton's neck. Both felt raw and exposed by the events of Shawn's abduction.

Carlton held his lover tighter and was determined to never allow anything to try and take Shawn away from him again. His lips brushed Shawn's ear, his voice rough with emotion when he spoke. "Move in with me Shawn."

The younger man didn't even hesitate. "Yes."

Carlton captured Shawn's lips then. A soft, gentle glide of lips upon lips. Caressing and showing their lover for one another.

Their kissing eventually evolved from gentle and exploring to harsh and demanding. Eventually they moved their heated activities to Carlton's - no their bedroom. Each surrendered himself to the other and showed their deep, earth shaking, and heartfelt love for the other in as many ways as they possibly could.

Later, sated and curled around one another, they succumbed to sleep. Both of them finally getting their first restful and dreamless sleep in over a week. They were finally safe, each wrapped securely in the other's arms. Nothing was ever going to separate them now that they finally home. They had made it through the dark and now could bask in the dawn, together.


End file.
